How to talk to children about violent events

José A. Álvarez Communications Office County of San Diego

Events like the recent Orlando shooting can generate strong emotions, especially in children. Anxiety. Fear. Sadness.

These emotions can last a few days or weeks. The County of San Diego’s Deputy Director for Behavioral Health Services, Dr. Piedad Garcia, offers the following advice on how to talk to children – and how to cope in general – with violent events like this:

• Parents should be aware of their children’s responses and be ready to talk openly about them. “Each child manifests their distress differently,” said Garcia. “It has to do with their age and their maturity, and what they see on TV, also.”
• It’s not essential to provide too many details. Parents should monitor how their children are doing and acknowledge that it’s OK to feel worried and sad.
• Some children may complain of stomach aches, or not want to go to school. They may also want to talk about the incident. These are normal reactions to a stressful situation.
• Limit children’s exposure to news media, smartphones or other sources of news. Constant exposure to information about an incident can generate more anxiety among kids.
• The media may show distressing images, but parents should emphasize to children that the event has ended and reassure them that they are safe.
• Answer children’s questions simply, without dramatizing the incident.
• Provide perspective to children, explaining to them that these incidents are not a common occurrence.
• Provide emotional support. It may take minutes, hours or even days for the incident to affect children. When it does, provide nurturance (hugs, empathy, kindness, calm support) and ask about their thoughts and feelings.
• Adults should be aware of their own stress levels and try to stay calm. Children look to their caretakers and parents for answers and a sense of security and safety. Adults should talk to another adult about what they’re feeling too.
• Keep doing the day-to-day family activities together. Some children’s sleep, appetite and social interest may be mildly disrupted. If these problems persist more than a few days, contact your family doctor or the County’s Access and Crisis Line at (888) 724-7240.

Trained counselors are available seven days a week, 24 hours a day at the County Access and Crisis Line to help people with issues such as depression, anxiety, anger or other mental health challenges. The number, again, is (888) 724-7240.

For more advice on how to help children cope with tragedy-related anxiety, visit: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/children-cope-with-tragedy.