'On The Lighter Side' Trimming Fallbrook's population - or- How to fix pedestrians once and for all

It’s no secret that many Fallbrook residents constantly bemoan the ever-increasing population. I had an epiphany that might merit the consideration that a relationship exists between the habits of local drivers concerning pedestrians and the subconscious desire to reduce population. After all, that’s what I love about Fallbrook: the fact that you can rest assured that a group of citizens will find a solution to every problem that presents itself here.

Through my own in-depth study, I have confirmed the problem pedestrians are encountering is not sporadic — it appears to be quickly becoming the norm. Years ago, I made the conscious decision to diligently try and ‘Shop Fallbrook’ as much as possible. Little did I know that involved lethal negotiation with many drivers in this town.

Based on the driver’s training course I took (and successfully passed decades ago, thank you) and the California Department of Motor Vehicles handbook, drivers of vehicles are REQUIRED BY LAW to stop for pedestrians who are “waiting to cross the street at a corner.”

In my opinion, Fallbrook drivers interpret that a little differently than the DMV intended, i.e. stop if a light turns red — pedestrian or no pedestrian. If there’s no light — no worries — pedestrian or no pedestrian — step on the gas. After all, drivers are driving because they need to get somewhere. Don’t you know anything? If you’re the one standing on the corner, go somewhere where there is a light.

The DMV handbook says, “Pedestrians have the right of way at corners with or without traffic lights, whether or not the crosswalks are marked by painted white lines.”

Wow! Are you kidding? Wherever streets intersect a crosswalk exists? We only understand lights here. Red: stop, green: go. Are you saying lines do not necessarily have to be painted on the road? No wonder nobody stops. Sorry, but we need it laid out a little bolder than that. Considering we have entered the era I like to call ‘Nuevo Fallbrook,’ maybe a task force could be organized to do something artistic like inlay ribbons of stained, crushed concrete at every intersection in the inner-village to give drivers the illusion of a crosswalk and cause them to want to stop for pedestrians. Our crosswalks cannot be ordinary. How gauche. They should be inspired. How nice would it be to have a nice meandering design that could incorporate greenbelts and preserves? Fallbrook could have one big interconnecting crosswalk system. Great!

The DMV continues, “Remember — if a pedestrian makes eye contact with you, he or she is ready to cross the street. Yield to the pedestrian.”

Oh, no. Eye contact doesn’t work like that here. I think the DMV needs to add a little more info in that paragraph for Fallbrook pedestrians like — if the driver makes eye contact with you as he accelerates toward the crosswalk, take it as a declaration of aggression and get the **** out of the street. Personally, I scramble behind one of those big, gorgeous potted plant containers on the sidewalk. They may not care if they hit me, but nobody wants to damage those lovely planters. Don’t ever think the driver doesn’t know who is in charge. Remember, people are ticked off about the population numbers. Those guys driving trucks with ladders in the back consider this a sport (you know who you are and I know who you are, so knock it off). For those of you bold enough to wave to a pedestrian as you zoom through the crosswalk, this is not a parade. Sign up for the Christmas Parade if you want people to wave back.

“Before turning a corner, watch for people about to cross the street.”

Yeah, watch for them so you can gauge how tight you can take the corner so you just skim their jacket, causing all the blood to drain from their face. The DMV says pedestrian safety is a “serious issue.” So, is it as serious as the population explosion? The DMV states that one in six traffic fatalities is a pedestrian. Guess what? A pedestrian is defined as a person on foot or who uses a conveyance such as roller skates, skateboards, etc., other than a bicycle. Skaters? Oh boy, these kids could really be at high risk right now, considering the anti-population theory. A pedestrian can also be a person with a disability in a self-propelled wheelchair, tricycle or quadricycle.

“Crosswalks are often marked with white lines. Yellow crosswalk lines may be painted at school crossings. Most often, crosswalks in residential areas are not marked.”

Oh, geez, now we have to pay attention to what color they are? That’s really hard considering some are invisible. Do they make special glasses you can wear to see these otherwise invisible lines? You know, like the special glasses they give you before you go in to see a 3-D movie?

Ask yourself when you last took your life into your hands and stopped for a pedestrian at Mission Road and Aviation Road? Yeah, try that at 4 p.m. on a weekday. A CHP officer pointed that out to me one day while I was on a ride-along. “The law says you are obliged to stop,” he said. “I think those people might stand there all day.”

Do you stop for pedestrians at Main and Aviation? Main and Fig? (Yeah, I know, they’re just crossing for a latte anyway.) Main and Ivy? Hey, you better stop at Main and Ivy! Village News employees regularly use that unmarked crosswalk to scramble across the street and raid the taco shop at meal times. Please have mercy on us. We have a paper to produce.

Have a minute to read more about the startling laws the DMV has concerning crosswalks? Log on to http://www.dmv.ca.gov/pubs/hdbk and click on “crosswalks.”

Seriously, isn’t there a way to deal with the pain of a growing population that doesn’t involve targeting pedestrians?