What happened to civility?

A year ago, I wanted to write an article about civility, but I decided I sounded like a kvetchy (cranky) old lady. Well, I am a kvetchy old lady, and that’s why I am going to do it anyway. I have heard the words “civil” and “civility” used more these last few months (regarding presidential candidates) than I have heard in years — possibly because it has disappeared.

I learned civility at my mother’s knee; you don’t stare or make loud remarks about people who are different, such as fat or of another color; you say “please,” and “thank you,” and “excuse me” if you bump into anyone; you don’t interrupt people who are speaking; and more. In the case of my own family, when accompanied by our two sons in wheelchairs, we caused all the things my mother taught me not to do to happen.

Last summer my husband and I went to the Reuben H. Fleet IMAX Science Museum. While touring the Science Center, I was nearly knocked over by a boy of around 10. I followed him to his mother’s side. I told her what her son did. “He didn’t even look around or say ‘I’m sorry,’” I added. His startled mother replied, “I’m glad you told me that; you really taught him something!” “That was your job,” I replied as I walked away.

My husband, Mel, was upset with me. “With things the way they are today, that woman could have hit you, or worse, shot you.” I thought he was overreacting, but reading the paper and watching the news, I decided he might have been right.

In the dictionary, “civility” is defined as “courtesy, decorum, politeness, respect and tact, among other words.” “Civilization” is defined as “culture, refinement and society.” Where has our society gone?

Today, you have to watch your step. Anywhere, even on the sidewalk, a scooter rider, skateboarder or just someone running past can run you down. Simply glancing at the person in the next car can get you a bullet in the head for no reason.

When I was a kid, if a teacher sent a letter home about a child’s behavior, parents did not sue the board of education. They took care of things themselves with a little discipline. They didn’t worry about their children’s safety at school. No one was ever shot there. No one wore skirts so short that the slightest movement showed undergarments. Now it is fashionable for girls to show their thong panties above low-slung jeans. Boys wear their pants so low that their rear ends hang out. What is next? Is it any wonder that sex and bad behavior runs rampant?

I don’t know what the solution to this problem is. I am not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, but I know that today’s parents are not training children to behave properly. Sometimes I wish we could go back to the “Good Old Days” when children and adults were more innocent and polite.

Now I want to talk about the civility of the presidential election. No, I think not. Let’s just send everyone involved back to their mothers to learn about that.