Dear President Obama

I am planning to move my extended family to Mexico, and I would like you to assist me.

We’re planning to walk across the border into Mexico, and we’ll need your help. We plan to skip the legal stuff, like visas, passports, and immigration quotas and laws. I am sure they handle those things the same way we do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I am leaving now?

I will be expecting the following: free medical care for my entire family; English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services, whether I use them or not; all Mexican forms in English; my grandkids...