Kicking It

Elizabeth Youngman-Westphal

Special to The Village News

To me, some things are just obvious. Like in this case, who in their right mind would pass up $10 in free money?

I know.

Certainly not me. Or is it I?

Regardless. To me, $10 is still a lot of money. For instance, not so long ago, $10 would fill my car up with gas. It would buy lunch for two at a fast-food restaurant with change back. Ten bucks would buy three happy-hour drinks with tip, or pay for a polish change at the nail shop or it would take me to a movie and pay for my large buttered popcorn.

In this girl’s opinion, $10 is not to be treated lightly.

Which is why I was annoyed, when I presented a $10 coupon to VJ and he scoffed at it.

“Humph,” he said. “Give me $10; I’ll give you back five, and you’ll be money ahead.”

Well, that still doesn’t make sense to me.

Naturally, I got back in my car and drove right back to the very store that gave me said coupon earlier that day when I got my over-55 flu shot last week. While I wanted a regular flu shot, my physician assistant daughter sent a text message insisting that I take the over-55 dose to avoid complications in the upcoming months.

Well, dang, it hurt. Although the pharmacist handed me the $10 coupon, and it did take some of the sting out.

Lucky for me, I didn’t have any other side effects from my flu vaccination. Naturally, I gloated because VJ did have flu-like symptoms after he got his vaccine, which Deb attributed to him being previously exposed to germs brought home by the grandchildren. After all, they babysit us at least twice a week after school.

More about my $10.

In the past, it has always been my belief there are two factions. Coupon clippers and the rest of us. The clippers treat it like a job. Me, not so much. I’m more one of the “rest of us.”

I rarely use a coupon, except in this case because the way I read it, if I spend $1 at the store within the next 14 days, the store would then put a one-time, $10 credit on my drug store account to use anyway I want. Hmm.

Which was the real reason I drove back to the drugstore for clarification to ensure I read the coupon correctly.

With my coupon in hand, I walked through the automatic doors to be greeted by two friendly employees asking how they “might be of service”? Well, I thought, this is a good beginning.

I presented the coupon and asked for a restatement of the terms. It didn’t take but a minute for me to be reassured that I had read it correctly. When I spend a dollar within the next 14-days, I will then get a $10 credit on my in-store account to spend as I wish.

And, I could complete both transactions back-to-back. I didn’t need to come back.

Everything was falling into place. Or so I thought. The hiccup being, “What could I buy for $1?”

One helpful employee pointed out the only item he knew of in the entire store to complete the purchase in the smallest way was a pack of gum on sale for $1.29.

Which is why I bought it. With tax, it was $1.39.

And sure enough, after reactivating my in-store account, the promised $10 credit appeared. Ta da.

Now, what to buy? I really didn’t need anything. And yet, let me assure you readers, “need” has never stopped me from shopping before. Without pause, I headed to the cosmetic counter.

As luck would have it, what I saw was an eyebrow device to cut off rogue brow hairs. It was on sale for 50% off the regular price of $19.99. Dang, if I buy it, I would save another $10.

That plus the .70 cents off the regular price for the chewing gum, my head was swirling at a total 87% savings. It turns out, my total out-of-pocket was $2.26. Bottom line, with the coupon and the in-store discounts on my two purchases, I saved $19.72. Now there’s an inflation buster for you.

Here is the way I see it. What if I spent $10,000? I would have saved $8,700. By golly, at this rate, I’ll soon shop my way into a fortune.

Elizabeth Youngman-Westphal can be reached by email at [email protected].