Goat crisis spurs search

Hello again, friends and fellow travelers. I come before you today with an announcement and an alert.

First the announcement: a stellar column written by your humble narrator last July – which ran under the headline "Writer reports his foray into farming" – has won me a prestigious promotion.

I am now the official goat and chicken reporter for a media juggernaut that has become, by default, the lone surviving voice in a vast area that stretches from Bonsall to Lake Elsinore, Menifee, Hemet and Anza.

I don't take this responsibility lightly, and I have a pedigree to prove I am worthy of this du...