Kicking It – Who's Counting?

The results are in. I mailed 20 Christmas cards last December and got six back. Even so, I was about to give up when my Las Vegas niece sent me my only Happy New Year’s greeting. The picture of her family is on one side and a hand-written personal message on the other. Score points for Kristi.

Two days later, I got a Christmas card returned by the postal service as undeliverable because I failed to put the unit number next to the street name. I just resent that. Another 66 cents. Regardless, that couple did not send us a Hallmark greeting back. Strike two more from next year’s list.

One could say, I got a bad return on my investment. Which, in case you are wondering, is the same way I buy stock. Buy high. Sell low. It’s an imperfect system, but one that I seem to have mastered which is why it has haunted me my entire life.

Still, I have to wonder why I didn’t get more cards? Really, I am a nice person. Well, hell, you know how shallow I am. I’m still running for my high school cheer squad. Apparently. Some of us never out grow our need to be popular.

The thing is, once a cheerleader, always a cheerleader which should by the mere circumstance of it engage folks to return my holiday greetings. I mean, come on, aren’t we all still running on high school creds? Don’t you recall in “The Devil Wears Prada,” where Meryl Streep says the very best line in the movie? “Everyone wants to be us”?

Here’s the thing I know for sure. One very dear girlfriend will never send a Christmas card. Ever. In her defense, she texts me when my card arrives and returns my sentiments. Another star in her corner, in the 12 years we’ve been besties, she has never missed a single birthday greeting.

While another girlfriend always leads with an apology. Because her card historically arrives after the date, but I can count on her lateness. She sends best wishes as long as I promise to give my husband a smooch from her. Which I do every year. Mary is a treasure.

My brother’s wife was fighting cancer last year, so I haven’t gotten that family’s newsletter which includes so many family members that I will probably never meet. They’re Mormon, ya know.

Of the four cards I sent to cruise ship buddies, I only got one card back from Utah although I did get two newsy emails. The fourth is local and she admitted to my face that she doesn’t do Christmas cards and instead gave me a big hug. I guess that counts for something.

In conclusion, buying and sending holiday greeting cards might at first glance appear to be a bad investment. The postage was up to .66 each (at the time) plus the cost of the cards. So far, money isn’t a factor.

Should I be worried that I like these people more than they like me? Which raises the question maybe, just maybe, I am not as popular as I thought I was?

Nah. It can’t be that.

Elizabeth can be reached at [email protected].