Kicking It

Whoopee! Oh, my gosh! Whew! The world is safe again. And that is all I have to say about the Nov. 5 results because America has spoken.

Celebrating Veterans Day last Monday was a reminder of the high price of war. Like this new administration, I, too, believe our armed forces should never have to leave our shores to save anyone else’s hide, ever again. It’s up to the rest of the world to manage without us.

Now that worry has lifted its ugly fingers from my brain, I can focus on the nonsense that falls between my ears.

Like don’t you find that some days, it is hard to do a secret-good deed?

Or that standing straight with your ears directly over your ankle bones, shoulders rolled back, and your pelvis rocked under makes you appear five pounds lighter?

Oh, and don’t forget only old ladies sit with their knees apart.

Recently, I discovered that eating very, very green bananas calm my gut along with adding six dashes of bitters to my club soda. It works!

The thing is, I’m past the age of waiting, so it’s time to click off more items on the ol’ bucket list. While I can.

Ranking number one on my daily To Do list is to take a nap. Followed by to laugh often and to play a game.

And while I am being silly why not top it off with my favorite poem: “The cow is of the bovine ilk. One end moo, the other milk” by the ingenious Ogden Nash.

Elizabeth can be reached at [email protected].